Week 13, 2003

Our text for this week in Ephesians 6:1 continues the emphasis on family relationships.


Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.


This exhortation for children to obey their parents is for one reason—it is right. This one thing—children learning to obey their parents is one of the most important factors in teaching a child to discern right from wrong. Why is this? As the prophecies of Scripture make clear, one of the greatest evils to come upon the earth in the last days is lawlessness. Learning to respect and obey authority is one of the greatest foundations that we can lay in our children’s lives to prepare them for combating this ultimate evil.


The first word given to Samuel the prophet by the Lord should be a most sobering exhortation to every parent. This is recorded in I Samuel 3:11-14:

And the LORD said to Samuel, "Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle.

In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end.

For I have told him that I am about to judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knew, because his sons brought a curse on themselves and he did not rebuke them.

And therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli's house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever."


When the Lord said that what He was about to do would make the ears of all who heard it tingle, He meant for it to be something to wake up everyone in Israel to the seriousness of this matter, and the judgment that it would bring. Our ears should also burn at this most sobering rebuke. The sin of letting our children bring a curse on themselves without correcting them is so serious that the Lord here declares that it “… shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever” (I Samuel 3:14).

A terrible judgment came upon Eli and his house just as was prophesied. We are told that the Lord prefers mercy over judgment, and the Scriptures abundantly testify of His great patience with us. Whenever the Lord brought judgment it was because of the serious and repeated violation of His standards and commandments that were resulting in the corruption of the entire nation. God’s eternal standards have never changed and will be the same reason why the Lord will bring judgment upon the whole world at the end. This “sin of Eli” is one that is today hastening the judgment of God because of the lawlessness that it is releasing.

Eli was the high priest and if he did not live by the highest standards it would lower the standards of the entire nation. Every Christian is likewise a priest, and called to be the light and salt of the earth. When we do not live up to the highest standards, we too allow a tragic corruption in the nations to which we have been sent.

It is also noteworthy that Eli loved the Lord and the service of His tabernacle very much. In fact, he loved them so much that when the Ark of the Covenant was captured by the Philistines he fell over and died. Eli did not mishandle the sacrifices, or do any of the other despicable things that his sons did, yet he too was punished because of what they did. His punishment was so serious that no amount of sacrifices or offerings could atone for his sin, forever.

This did not mean that Eli could not be forgiven. What this meant was that all of his sacrifices and offerings could not atone for his irresponsibility in regard to his family. Many are likewise zealous for the Lord and His work as an attempt to atone for sin or irresponsibility in other areas of their life. All of our zeal and good works will never atone for our sin, forever. However, there was a sacrifice made through which we can be forgiven—the cross. Even so, we are not turning to the cross for forgiveness if we are attempting to atone for our irresponsibility with our own works, which is what Eli was doing.

Even though we too can be forgiven if we go to the cross of Jesus, it is best to not need the forgiveness in this matter because we have taught our children what is right by teaching them obedience. This is not just for our sake, but for the sake of our children, and the world that we have been sent to be the light and salt to. It is for this reason that we are told in I Peter 4:17, “For it is time for judgment to begin with the household of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the outcome for those who do not obey the gospel of God?” How could the Lord judge the world for these things if His own people are guilty? We can expect the Lord to deal with the church in our lawlessness, and the failure to discipline our children before His judgment comes upon the world for its lawlessness.

Eli was the high priest and this came upon him. It does not matter how high we have risen in ministry—this same judgment can come upon us if we are not obedient to the most basic responsibilities given to us with our families. It does not matter how many mission trips we have been on, or how faithfully we have paid our tithes, if we do not raise our children right we will be in serious jeopardy.

James 5:12 states, “.... let your yes be yes, and your no, no; so that you may not fall under judgment.” This is one of the primary ways that we can fall under judgment—when we do not mean what we say. When we say “yes” we should mean it, and stick to it. Likewise, when we say “no” that should be exactly what we mean.

What does this have to do with raising our children? When we tell them “yes” they should be taught that this is exactly what we mean. When we tell them “no” it should mean no the first time we say it, and we should not have to repeat it over and over because our “yes” means “yes” and our “no” means “no.” Some children are taught that their parents really do not mean what they say until they raise their voice to a certain decibel level. Is that a good way to teach them to hear the “still small voice” that the Lord often uses when speaking to us? When we teach our kids that if we say one thing, but they can then pressure us into changing it, we are not teaching them right and wrong—we are teaching them to be manipulative and to disrespect authority.

Throughout Western society today there is an unrelenting assault on authority. There is hardly a sitcom on television today that does not seem to be systematically designed to erode people’s respect for authority. They especially seem designed to be an insult to fathers, who in almost every one of these sitcoms are bungling idiots who constantly have to be rescued by their wife or children. These shows are just about as devoted to attacking moral values. The lawlessness that is being released will ultimately be a bigger threat to us all than any enemy from without. If we are going to be the light and salt that we are called to be, then we must counter this, beginning with how we teach our children.